I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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