Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
