This girl is more easily done than said...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
