i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
