It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
