I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
