my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
