I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
