It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
