Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
