I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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