That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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