Define "chronic" masturbator.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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