Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize