yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
