he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
