She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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