summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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