Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
