Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
