Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
