It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
