i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
