Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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