I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
