I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
