did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize