I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
