My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
