idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
