I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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