I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize