You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
