i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
