Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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