I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I looked at my own cervix.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
