I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
