I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
