Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
