I hope mine doesn't look like that
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
