wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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