Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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