Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish i was in the wii world.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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