So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize