I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
