Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
