Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
