Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize