one might say we're banned from that church
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
