bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
