I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize