am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
