U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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