No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
