Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
